Coffin in the house

I had just graduated college. My boyfriend at the time invited me to spend the weekend at his ranch. I hope he reads this one day so he can see how he traumatized me. I am laughing while I say that because this is a great guy, just a crazy experience. So we had a great time at the ranch. We spotted animals in the dark and drove a mule around. We hung out with his sister and searched for snakes. It was fun. Then he said, “I want us to go visit my neighbor for a little bit, do you mind?” I said sure and we headed that way. These houses were spread out. We got there and knocked on the door. A very old man came out of his house and we started talking to him. He had sunken eyes and seemed tired. Then he invited us in. My boyfriend smiled a little and I looked at him like “what?” But we just walked in. As soon as we stepped inside the house I was in shock. This man had a coffin set up in his living room. Not just any coffin, but HIS coffin! On the walls above the coffin were pictures of Jesus. The old man was very proud of his coffin that he had picked out. He showed me the lining he had picked out for himself and told me about the colors he picked out. His wife had already died and he was ready to go. He talked about his love for Jesus and he wanted to go to Heaven now. I was young (22) and I was nice but didn’t know what else to say. When we left I’m pretty sure I hit my boyfriend multiple times (in a joking way). Give me a warning man! Looking back I feel sad for that man. I understand a little about depression, how horrible you can feel. Where was his family? Where were his friends? Did he have anyone who would be there for him, to tell him his life was not over. Life can be hard and lonely.. But if we just throw in the towel on this life and build our coffin and wait for death we are missing out on what we could still do in this life. Picking yourself up and finding a way to continue on when you don’t want to is one of the strongest things you can do. I think about meeting Jesus and going to Heaven a lot. I do look forward to it. But I want to use the rest of the life I have left. The older I get the more I see horrible things happen. Wives losing husbands, women losing babies, children passing away, etc. I don’t know what I would do if those things happened to me. I have watched the people I know who have gone through that keep going. And it is inspirational and shows such strength. When I am down I call my sister, or my close friends, or my small group at church. My small group women know me, they let me vent, they pray for me. And I do the same for them. If you feel like you can’t go on reach out to someone. You are important. You are strong. You can get through this. Your life matters. Don’t build your coffin just yet.